I want to use some of our time together to clarify the work done in therapy and the experience of therapy. I love to think. I am wired to make connections and distill meaning from peoples stories. It is the way my mind works. It has served me well as a psychologist and therapist.
Psychologists are highly trained therapists, who learn about diagnosis and assessment, can do testing to answer questions, and tend to have a fuller grasp on theory and practical applications. I am proud of my training and have refined and enhanced my skills over the past 30+ years.
Wow, so what is this relationship? It starts with 2 people showing up. That may sound simple, but it's not. There is so much to say about a person's ability to put themselves in a therapy room over and over, week in and week out, month in and month out, and sometimes year in and year out. For both people it involves being in a room together with nothing else to do but become aware of who the client is.
Have you ever asked yourself this question?
You may walk into a therapists office and feel like you have just been cast into a tornado, or feel the excitement of a Ferris wheel ride, or into a patch of cactus, or into the flying pan, or drinking a cool tall glass of homogenized milk. This chemistry matters. If you learn anything in therapy it is to notice what is happening below your skin, and with some luck, over time, respect any and all feelings.
In our chemistry experiment, some of what you are experiencing is coming from the therapist, and most of it is coming from inside of you. Remember what I said before about how the relationship is seen as a reflection of all your previous encounters with their world. So, loving your therapist, wondering if she/he is judging you, wanting to please them, not caring about what they say, getting angry or feeling alone even when you are in the room with them mostly comes from inside of you.
People come to therapy to talk in a safe environment
